Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,700

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Making waves on Reddit:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Going viral on Messenger:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Trending via Pinterest:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Just landed via Slack:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Going viral on Messenger:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Going viral on WeChat:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Going viral on Slack:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

0
She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like she got her literary jargon a bit mixed up! 📚😅 Someone needs to brush up on their dystopian terminology before dropping it into casual conversation. Can't be throwing around 'Orwellian' when you're clearly swimming in 'Kafkaesque' waters! 🐟📝"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Spotted on X:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Live now on Twitch:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Breaking via Discord:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Trending via Discord:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴