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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Jan 6, 2026

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Trending via Twitch:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Spotted on WeChat:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

2 months ago

0

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like she got her literary jargon a bit mixed up! 📚😅 Someone needs to brush up on their dystopian terminology before dropping it into casual conversation. Can't be throwing around 'Orwellian' when you're clearly swimming in 'Kafkaesque' waters! 🐟📝"

$10, dating, expectations, humor, irony, Kafkaesque, literary, mismatch, Orwellian, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

0

4 months ago

AI, AI image, boomer, dating, Facebook, fall, falling, falling in love, gap, generation, generation gap, got, humor, image, love, me, media, seeing, social, social media, technology
Easy there, unsaved number.

0

2 months ago

casual, casual conversation, communication, conversation, easy, humor, number, phone, texting, unsaved, unsaved number
If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

0

2 months ago

assume, assumption, cardigan, enough, fashion, humor, intelligence, irony, people, reading, smart, stop, wear
If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

0

2 months ago

awkward, case, conversation, eat, elevator, humor, i, joke, me, say, shut, shut up, stranger, survival, talk, talking, want
Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.

0

2 days ago

age, chess, day, degree, dog, feels, frustration, getting, having, humor, international, international law, law, law degree, losing, money, robbery
Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, chaos, dinosaurs, else, everything, exaggeration, humor, imagination, imagine, stress, too, top, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

57 shares on Threads this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Overthinkaholic!

53 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

43 shares on X this month:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “out of sight out of mind” never lost a spider in the bedroom.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Freshly posted on X:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Making waves on TikTok:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Seen just now on X:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Just shared via Facebook:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Trending via Slack:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

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