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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Just landed via YouTube:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Going viral on Slack:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Spotted on Threads:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Simplicity is so complicated.

6 hours ago

Playful quote about the paradox of simplicity being unexpectedly complex.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life's ultimate plot twist: trying to simplify things and ending up with a 5-season miniseries instead! 🤔📚😅

complicated, complication, humor, irony, paradox, simplicity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

3 months ago

aspiration, back, bra, concert, fame, humor, i, just, onstage, performance, rich, run
Mornings would be fine if they started later.

2 months ago

fine, humor, later, morning, mornings, sleep, time, wake, wake up
It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

2 months ago

communication, entertainment, humor, new, podcasting, self-talk, talking, term, used, yourself
My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

2 months ago

anxiety, fear, film, flashlight, health, horror, horror film, humor, mental, mental health, reliability
Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

2 months ago

humor, intern, office, procrastination, productivity, put, task, today, tomorrow, why, work
Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

2 months ago

actually, arrogance, donkey, high, high horse, horse, horses, humility, humor, humor quote, sarcasm, satire

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Twitch this month:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

95 shares on Slack this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

33 shares on Slack this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

25 shares on X this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

27 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

97 shares on Slack this month:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Making waves on WeChat:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Simplicity is so complicated.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨