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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

It’s important to follow your significant other around the grocery store, not helping, and only hovering like the specter of death.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Making waves on Facebook:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Trending via Telegram:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Just landed via Telegram:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

Breaking via WeChat:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Breaking via Pinterest:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Just shared via Messenger:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Simplicity is so complicated.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about the paradox of simplicity being unexpectedly complex.

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Commentary:
Life's ultimate plot twist: trying to simplify things and ending up with a 5-season miniseries instead! 🤔📚😅

complicated, complication, humor, irony, paradox, simplicity

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

74 shares on Threads this month:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

37 shares on X this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Just shared via Facebook:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Seen just now on Slack:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Making waves on YouTube:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Trending via WeChat:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Going viral on Twitch:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Simplicity is so complicated.

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Simplicity is so complicated.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨