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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Just shared via Slack:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Going viral on Discord:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Making waves on Instagram:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Breaking via Facebook:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Going viral on YouTube:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Going viral on X:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Simplicity is so complicated.

1 month ago

Playful quote about the paradox of simplicity being unexpectedly complex.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Life's ultimate plot twist: trying to simplify things and ending up with a 5-season miniseries instead! 🤔📚😅

complicated, complication, humor, irony, paradox, simplicity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

4 weeks ago

communication, humor, interaction, irony, miscommunication, pleasure, sarcasm, social, social interaction, wit
I am single, please disturb me!

4 weeks ago

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single
Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

4 weeks ago

came, disappointment, expectation, hibernation, humor, i, seriously, surprise, winter
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

4 weeks ago

bartender, baseball, explain, guy, humor, i, just, meeting, met, music, please, situation, social, social situation, trying, turn, works
And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

3 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, fire, humor, illusion, magic, next, performance, set, soul, trick
I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

1 month ago

challenge, create, humor, i, irony, math, new, paradox, problem, solve, three

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

18 shares on WeChat this month:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The shitshow must go on.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Spotted on YouTube:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Just landed via WeChat:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Trending via YouTube:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Going viral on Reddit:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Broadcasted on Threads:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Spotted on Instagram:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Simplicity is so complicated.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

I am single, please disturb me!

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨