Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Making waves on Slack:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Just landed via Facebook:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Shared recently on TikTok:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Spotted on Threads:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Live now on LinkedIn:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Breaking via Messenger:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this one came out of the womb swiping left! 💔🤰 Forever solo in the solo cup of life! 🥂 #SingleLife"

humor, life, loneliness, relationships, single, tomb, womb

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

2 months ago

back, childlike, childlike wonder, five-year, five-year plan, goal, growth, happiness, joy, personal, personal growth, plan, whimsy, wonder
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

2 months ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

3 months ago

eating, expand, food, friendship, fun, humor, important, life, people, relationship, sharing, snack, social, social life, taste
Twitter is an abusement park.

2 months ago

abusement, amusement, fun, humor, irony, media, park, social, social media, Twitter
(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

2 months ago

coping, depressed, depression, doing, emotional, emotional state, ever, good, guy, health, humor, mental, mental health, met, mood, most, pretty, self-deprecation, state
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

3 months ago

anxiety, contrast, cool, cucumber, emotions, humor, inside, squirrel, surface, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WeChat this month:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

67 shares on Discord this month:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

71 shares on Discord this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Making waves on Facebook:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Spotted on YouTube:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Going viral on Reddit:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Just shared via Pinterest:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Drive like no one is watching.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Just landed via Instagram:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Twitter is an abusement park.

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨