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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,791

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Just landed via Twitch:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Making waves on Twitch:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Just shared via Instagram:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like this one came out of the womb swiping left! 💔🤰 Forever solo in the solo cup of life! 🥂 #SingleLife"

humor, life, loneliness, relationships, single, tomb, womb

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

1 month ago

attraction, man, mentality, problem-solving, sexiest, sexiness, thing
Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

2 months ago

apology, bed, cute, end, flirtation, ghost, humor, i, just, levitating, night, relationship, sorry, think
My wife has the worst taste in men.

2 months ago

humor, joke, marriage, men, relationship, taste, wife, worst
If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

2 months ago

humor, irony, know, knowledge, medical, medical profession, person, power, profession, super, super power, x-ray
The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

1 month ago

engagement, fire, humor, interaction, neighbor, only, reason
I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

2 months ago

adult, age, comedy, humor, maturity, mistaken, sarcasm

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Seen just now on Discord:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Just shared via TikTok:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

My wife has the worst taste in men.

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

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Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

My wife has the worst taste in men.

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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