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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2032 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,194

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,194

1 minute ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

Trending via WeChat:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Breaking via Telegram:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Seen just now on X:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Trending via Pinterest:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Shared recently on Instagram:

Ok, hear me out: a reality show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest-paid employees’ salaries for a month.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Going viral on Threads:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

6 months ago

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the drama of socks trying to navigate the complexities of monogamy! 🧦💔 Some seek the comfort of a long-term relationship with a shoe, while others prefer to explore the world solo or play the field with various mismatched companions. It's a sock-eat-sock world out there! 😉 #SocksLife

dating, different, end, fashion, having, humor, monogamous, multiple, partner, relationship, single, socks, try, variety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2032 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,194

Funny Quotes Topics

14,948

Funny Quotes Images

12,194

1 minute ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Seen just now on Threads:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Going viral on Instagram:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

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