Trendy Funny Quotes

  • A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.
  • My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.
  • The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
  • How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?
  • Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.
  • Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.