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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Live now on Messenger:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Live now on Messenger:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Seen just now on Threads:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Making waves on Instagram:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Making waves on Slack:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, you think talking to my pet is strange? Have you tried chatting with Karen from accounting? 🐱🤔👩‍💼 #PetTalksWin"

animals, conversation, humor, i, interaction, much, people, pet, social, social interaction, strange, stranger, talk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

0

3 months ago

exhaustion, fatigue, humor, still, tired
Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

0

2 months ago

award, criticism, humor, magazine, person, satire, should, time, worst, Worst Person, year
The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, date, expectations, fine, first impression, horror, humor, impression, interaction, know, meet, meeting, once, person, personality, relationships, social, social interaction, warned, warning
I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

0

2 months ago

competition, contest, game, Game of Thrones, humor, i, men, pooping, pooping contest, thought, thrones
Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, communication, confusion, expression, face, found, humor, love, misunderstanding, over, person, reaction, say, sense, thing
Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

0

2 months ago

activity, day, fun, fun activity, funny suggestion, humor, love, phone, relationship, relationship humor, suggestion, switch, switch phone, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Discord this month:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

13 shares on Slack this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

27 shares on Threads this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

58 shares on Discord this month:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

88 shares on Threads this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

34 shares on X this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Live now on Twitch:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Just shared via X:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Spotted on TikTok:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Trending via Messenger:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Making waves on Pinterest:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨