Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

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Live, laugh, leftovers.

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I have friends in high places (birds).

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This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

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“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

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I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

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Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

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I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

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Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

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Time needs a speed limit.

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Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.