Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.
  • My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.
  • I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.
  • Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.
  • That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.
  • When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.