Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.
  • Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.
  • “Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.
  • I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.
  • Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.
  • “Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.