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Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

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I only use โ€˜sirโ€™ disrespectfully.

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Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it wonโ€™t be your idea.

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Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

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Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

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Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

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You befriend a guy and a few days later heโ€™s like โ€œI wanna talk to you about somethingโ€. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

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They expect me to work at work.

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Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

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I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

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Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic case of 'think before you speak' failing spectacularly! ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ˜‚ It seems like foot-in-mouth syndrome strikes again. Maybe next time, a filter will miraculously appear ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜…."



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