Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Breaking via TikTok:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Spotted on X:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Shared recently on Instagram:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Live now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Trending via Telegram:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Trending via Reddit:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

2 months ago

0

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Surviving our own thoughts is like navigating through a minefield of 'what ifs' and 'I should have saids' 🤔💥 But hey, at least we can proudly pat ourselves on the back for making it this far without getting lost in our own heads!"

able, achievement, being, growth, health, humor, introspection, life, mental, mental health, own, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, sometimes, survive, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

0

2 months ago

celery, comedy, depressing, food, food humor, green, humor, vegetables, wafers, water
I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

0

1 month ago

advertising, application, beauty, consumer, consumer humor, course, expensive, humor, i, love, luxury, luxury products, products, sarcasm, say, skincare
I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

0

2 months ago

argue, distraction, every, humor, i, just, kids, living, living room, parenting, room, surface, trying, TV, vacuum, watch
Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

0

4 weeks ago

dating, humor, love, lover, lovers, real, relationship, single
Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

0

2 months ago

carefree, emergency, hammock, hope, humor, i, laying, leisure, relaxation, saying
My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

0

4 months ago

ancient, body, creaky, humor, plumbing, questionable, temple

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Slack this month:

If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to have a great future in my past.

58 shares on Threads this month:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Spotted on Slack:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Spotted on Slack:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Trending via TikTok:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Going viral on Discord:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Just shared via Facebook:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Shared recently on Threads:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

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