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Commentary:
Wow, talk about a wild excuse for not replying! 😂 Next time, just blame it on bad signal or falling asleep. 🤷‍♂️ Hopefully, you didn't make any cloud friends up there! ☁️🦅

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

2 months ago

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It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

2 months ago

clapping, clapping emoji, comment, death, emoji, family, fun, games, hands, media, mistake, news, prayer, prayer hands, send, social, social media
Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

2 months ago

day, day out, family, generation, grandmother, humor, just, mom, observation, observing, pattern, spending
There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

2 months ago

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If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

2 months ago

humor, joke, landscape, meeting, office, pacing, painting, productivity, sarcastic, satire, slow
The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

51 shares on Twitch this month:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

“And on the 7th day he rested”. Obviously God had not yet created laundry at that point.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Live now on Instagram:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Breaking via Twitch:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Seen just now on Threads:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Making waves on Telegram:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Live now on YouTube:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Just shared via Slack:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨