Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Wow, talk about a wild excuse for not replying! 😂 Next time, just blame it on bad signal or falling asleep. 🤷‍♂️ Hopefully, you didn't make any cloud friends up there! ☁️🦅

adventure, bird, birds, close, cloud, days, drinking, eating, excuse, flew, humor, i, joke, message, rain, skydiving, sorry, stuck, survival, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Threads this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

100 shares on Threads this month:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Spotted on WeChat:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Shared recently on X:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Just landed via Discord:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Trending via TikTok:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨