Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.