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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

3 seconds ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Trending via YouTube:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Spotted on TikTok:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Reported on Slack:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like the odds are definitely not in the dwarfs' favor! Maybe they just need a taller perspective on life to see the bright side of things! 🤔😄 #GrumpyMoodSwing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

Updated

3 seconds ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Reported on TikTok:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Making waves on Threads:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Trending via Discord:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

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