Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

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You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

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It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

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My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

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I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

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My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

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Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

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Maybe the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.