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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic office paradox: Work overtime and get a collective shrug 🤷‍♂️, but show up a tad late and suddenly it's all chaos and drama 🤯! Because clearly, punctuality is the true measure of professional success 🕒⏳. Who knew the secret to world domination lay in the hands of a clock ⏰? Just don't let your boss catch you eyeing that clock too eagerly 🧐👀

chaos, everyone, extra, extra hour, hour, humor, late, minds, minutes, office, productivity, rules, stay, time, work, workplace

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My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

1 month ago

comedy, desire, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, irony, mental, mental health, odds, overload, sane, stress
Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

2 months ago

alarm, before, else, favorite, humor, matters, Metallica, minutes, music, nothing, procrastination, sleep, song
Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

1 month ago

being, birthday, day, disappointment, ever, every, excited, excitement, expectation, girl, girls, hell, personal, personal hell, too, worst, worst day
Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

1 month ago

activity, back, digital, digital life, hi, humor, internet, internet humor, know, leaving, life, me, media, online, online activity, place, returning, self-deprecating, social, social media, stupid, user
Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

1 month ago

always, annoyance, annoyed, humor, image, love, Narcissus, own, self-obsession, talk, talking, tried
“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

1 month ago

actually, AI, communication, comprehension, email, humor, i, intended, person, read, reading, said, sarcasm, summary, technology, thanks

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

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Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

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All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

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There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Trending via WeChat:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Just shared via Messenger:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Shared recently on Discord:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

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Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Stop dating if you have no car.

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

You’re so productive for your wage.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

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Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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