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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Trending via Reddit:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Seen just now on Threads:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Broadcasted on X:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Broadcasted on X:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Just shared via Slack:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Funny quote about dismissing drama while joking about friends enjoying history together.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs textbooks when you have besties for historical drama lessons? 📚👯‍♀️ Let's root for a friendship as epic as their saga! 💁‍♀️💫 #BestieGoals"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

91 shares on YouTube this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

42 shares on Threads this month:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

58 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s kinda weird that in order to go to sleep you have to pretend like you are already sleeping.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Making waves on X:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Trending via Twitch:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Live now on Twitch:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Breaking via Facebook:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

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