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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Spotted on Discord:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Just landed via TikTok:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Just shared via WeChat:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Spotted on Facebook:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Trending via Slack:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

2 months ago

0

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Studying so hard that Dior starts looking like Shein? 🤓👗 Don't worry, soon you'll be rocking those textbooks as your latest fashion statement 💁‍♂️📚 #FashionistaScholar"

ambition, Dior, fashion, hard, hard work, humor, Shein, study, success, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

0

2 months ago

complete, environment, fog, humor, lazy, nature, too
“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

0

5 months ago

advice, authenticity, humor, just, me, mixed, mixed result, past, result, results, self
Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

0

2 months ago

adulting, difficult, doing, emotion, enough, feel, growth, minute, motivation, next, personal, personal growth, pride, proud, self-doubt, struggle, yourself
“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

0

2 months ago

business, grateful, gratitude, humor, none, privacy, sarcasm, things
I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

0

2 months ago

day, doing, done, except, feel, guilt, guilty, humor, inactivity, laziness, nothing, procrastination, self-awareness
I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

0

2 months ago

dinner, food, health, night, pizza

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

95 shares on X this month:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

81 shares on TikTok this month:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Just shared via TikTok:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Just shared via Telegram:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Spotted on Twitch:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

Just landed via WeChat:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

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