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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Freshly posted on X:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Shared recently on X:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Live now on Twitch:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Playful quote about eagerly pretending to start the week with enthusiasm.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ready to conquer a brand new week with my Oscar-worthy faking skills! 🌟😂 Who needs a script when you've got improvisation down to an art form? Bring it on, Monday!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

84 shares on Slack this month:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Just shared via TikTok:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Trending via Reddit:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Making waves on Slack:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Trending via Messenger:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Breaking via Reddit:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Trending via YouTube:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

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