Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Trending via Messenger:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Just landed via TikTok:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Shared recently on X:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Trending via Instagram:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Going viral on YouTube:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Trending via Reddit:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Humorous text about the risk of taking a dog named Shark to the beach.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Taking a dog named Shark to the beach is like inviting trouble to a party 😆🦈🏖️ Maybe stick to a safer name like 'Puppy Paddle' for a stress-free day out!"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

10 shares on Telegram this month:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

82 shares on Discord this month:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Trending via Telegram:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Going viral on YouTube:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Breaking via Discord:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Trending via X:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Making waves on Reddit:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Making waves on X:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

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