Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Going viral on YouTube:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Trending via Telegram:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Just shared via Messenger:

Kinda psycho that there’s a clothing brand called “Banana Republic.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Trending via Messenger:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
And here I was waiting in the theater for them to start cleaning! 🍿🏠🎬

actor, actors, home, humor, joke, movie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

2 months ago

advice, behavior, child, curiosity, going, parenting, rules, something, temptation, touch
Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

2 months ago

duck, fun, humor, i, maybe, preference, quirky, randomness, scattered
I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

3 months ago

adult, breathe, breathing, commas, frustration, grammar, hate, humor, i, job, punctuation, tell, work
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, language, let, nothing, self-awareness, slang
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

3 weeks ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

2 months ago

age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

99 shares on X this month:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Making waves on Discord:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Making waves on X:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Just shared via WeChat:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Making waves on Facebook:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Just landed via Messenger:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨