Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Seen just now on Threads:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Trending via Pinterest:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Spotted on Instagram:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mastering the ancient art of "It is what it is" with a black belt in not giving a hoot! 🎨🦉✨

art, humor, letting, letting go, mindset, opinion, think, whatever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

2 months ago

activity, bride, fun, fun activity, groom, guest, humor, interaction, joke, prank, social, social interaction, wedding, whisper
Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

5 months ago

attitude, call, constipated, expression, give, humor, i, indifference, me, shit, slang
The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

4 months ago

heal, healing, health, humor, loss, me, memory, memory loss, mental, mental health, only, sarcasm, thing
Earth is hard.

2 months ago

challenge, difficulty, Earth, hard, humor, struggle
People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

2 months ago

20s, 30s, adventure, age, early, early 30s, emotional, emotional support, humor, Japan, late, late 20s, people, support, travel, trip
I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

2 months ago

comparison, eye, feel, funny comparison, humor, i, irony, juice, naming, orange, orange juice, person, pink, pink eye

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Discord this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Shared recently on X:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Going viral on Discord:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Trending via Reddit:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Trending via Threads:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Seen just now on WeChat:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Making waves on Slack:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Making waves on Telegram:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Earth is hard.

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨