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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Going bananas on Threads:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

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The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the brain, always at peak performance when it comes to navigating the treacherous journey from bed to office chair! 🧠💼 It's like a reliable engine that only runs on coffee and deadlines. ☕️⏰ Who needs a morning workout when you have the mental gymnastics of work ahead of you?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

64 shares on Slack this month:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

27 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

95 shares on Discord this month:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

18 shares on X this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Just shared via TikTok:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Making waves on YouTube:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Going viral on Reddit:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Spotted on Telegram:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Seen just now on X:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Breaking via Threads:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

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