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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Just landed via WeChat:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Shared recently on WeChat:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Spreading quickly via X:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Shared recently on X:

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Going viral on Discord:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

6 days ago

Witty text about ignoring notifications, highlighting the humorous cycle of surprise.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it funny how our phones can have the memory of an elephant when it comes to notifications? 🤷‍♂️ Ignoring them once is like an open invitation for them to come knocking on your screen forever! 📱😂 It's like they're saying, "Hey, remember me? I'm still here waiting for you to give me some attention!" 🤭 #PersistenceIsKey #NotificationOverload

again, being, cool, humor, ignoring, notification, over, repetition, surprise, technology, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

18 shares on X this month:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you a software update, because not now!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Breaking via Reddit:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Making waves on WeChat:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Making waves on Reddit:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Just landed via WeChat:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just landed via WeChat:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Spotted on YouTube:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

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