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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Trending via X:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Breaking via WeChat:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Seen just now on Discord:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Live now on WhatsApp:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it funny how our phones can have the memory of an elephant when it comes to notifications? 🤷‍♂️ Ignoring them once is like an open invitation for them to come knocking on your screen forever! 📱😂 It's like they're saying, "Hey, remember me? I'm still here waiting for you to give me some attention!" 🤭 #PersistenceIsKey #NotificationOverload

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

73 shares on Slack this month:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

20 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Going viral on Instagram:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Seen just now on Discord:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Seen just now on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Going bananas on TikTok:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Going viral on Twitch:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Just shared via Discord:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

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