Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Trending via Twitch:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Making waves on Instagram:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Making waves on Instagram:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Spotted on Twitch:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Going viral on Facebook:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Making waves on X:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Freshly posted on X:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about the playful urge to pretend ignorance despite knowing it all.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of feigning innocence while secretly holding all the answers 🤫💁‍♀️ It's the ultimate power move of pretending to be clueless when you're actually the mastermind behind the scenes! Who said women can't multitask? 😉"

act, act clueless, clueless, everything, feminine, feminine urge, gender, gender roles, humor, irony, knowing, knowing everything, roles, self-awareness, urge, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

27 shares on Instagram this month:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

67 shares on X this month:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Just landed via Slack:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Going viral on WeChat:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Just landed via Telegram:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Just landed via Facebook:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

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