Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Making waves on Telegram:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you want to feel really bad about yourself, just start dating.

Making waves on Messenger:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Just shared via Facebook:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Shared recently on Twitch:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

2 months ago

0

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the saga of the eternal survivors in our fridges! 🥦🍓🥬 That healthy food sure knows how to outlast its less resilient companions. Maybe it's secretly plotting its takeover while basking in its longevity. 🤣 #FridgeSurvivalChampion

diet, else, everything, food, fridge, grateful, healthy, healthy food, humor, joke, life, much, should, survive

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

0

2 months ago

chronological, chronological order, follow, follower, humor, idea, Instagram, media, only, order, people, post, posts, shows, social, social media, startup
Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

0

2 months ago

calendar, creativity, humor, joke, madvent, madvent calendar, menstruation, period, period tracker, tracker, tracking
I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

0

4 months ago

afraid, AI, apocalypse, Earth, fear, human, humans, humor, problem, realize, solution, solve, technology
Farting, but with eye contact.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, contact, eye, eye contact, fart, funny situation, humor, interaction, moment, situation, social, social interaction
The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

0

1 month ago

bed, book, books, chocolate, comfort, empty, humor, liar, night, relationship, side, sleep, snore
80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

0

1 month ago

argument, arguments, eaten, food, humor, hunger, mood, patience, relationship, someone, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

92 shares on X this month:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,876

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Going viral on Twitch:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Seen just now on Threads:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Trending via TikTok:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Trending via Messenger:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Broadcasted on X:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Trending via WeChat:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

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