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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Spotted on Threads:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Shared recently on X:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Making waves on Facebook:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Going viral on WeChat:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Live now on Slack:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

2 months ago

0

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the saga of the eternal survivors in our fridges! 🥦🍓🥬 That healthy food sure knows how to outlast its less resilient companions. Maybe it's secretly plotting its takeover while basking in its longevity. 🤣 #FridgeSurvivalChampion

diet, else, everything, food, fridge, grateful, healthy, healthy food, humor, joke, life, much, should, survive

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

0

2 months ago

attention, attitude, confidence, entertainment, forget, give, harder, humor, motivation, never, nobody, observation, people, rivalry, sarcasm, show
Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

0

3 weeks ago

communication, confession, date, ever, every, honesty, humor, idea, love, me, relationship, tell, thought
Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, club, dating, humor, jazz, jazz club, problem, taking, woman, women
Long story short, I survived.

0

3 days ago

humor, i, joke, resilience, short, short story, story, survival
I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, confuse, confusion, daily, daily life, different, enough, forward, humor, irony, life, looking, me, much, routine, today, tomorrow
Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

0

2 months ago

day, debt-free, dog, hours, humor, laziness, least, nobody, pet, sigh, sleeping, unemployed

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Discord this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

50 shares on Threads this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

97 shares on Slack this month:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am single, please disturb me!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,287

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Just landed via Discord:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Spotted on Telegram:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Seen just now on Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Going viral on Telegram:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

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