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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Trending via WeChat:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Just landed via Slack:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Trending via Twitch:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Trending via Messenger:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

Live now on Threads:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Going viral on WeChat:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Just landed via Messenger:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

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The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the Loan shark, the ultimate predator of finances! 💸🦈 Watch out for those interest rates lurking in the waters of debt, ready to strike when you least expect it. Remember, always read the fine print before diving into those murky financial waters! 🌊💼

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Twitch this month:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Going bananas on Twitch:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

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