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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Going viral on Instagram:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Making waves on Reddit:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Trending via WeChat:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

0
The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the Loan shark, the ultimate predator of finances! 💸🦈 Watch out for those interest rates lurking in the waters of debt, ready to strike when you least expect it. Remember, always read the fine print before diving into those murky financial waters! 🌊💼

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Slack this month:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

98 shares on X this month:

Better to be an overthinker than an overdrinker.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A Monday every week is excessive.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Making waves on X:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Spotted on Twitch:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Going viral on Twitch:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Shared recently on Discord:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Just shared via TikTok:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

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