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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Live now on Instagram:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Trending via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Just landed via X:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

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The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.
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Commentary:
Looks like your New Year's resolution of gaining life experiences took a wrong turn and instead you gained a few pounds! 🍔🍕 But remember, you're not just gaining weight, you're gaining gravitational pull too! 💪😄 #NewYearNewMeNotSoMuch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Messenger this month:

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can reach me by butterfly.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

41 shares on X this month:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

18 shares on X this month:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

85 shares on Discord this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Shared recently on X:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Going viral on Messenger:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Making waves on YouTube:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Going viral on TikTok:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

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