The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Commentary:
Looks like your New Year’s resolution of gaining life experiences took a wrong turn and instead you gained a few pounds! 🍔🍕 But remember, you’re not just gaining weight, you’re gaining gravitational pull too! 💪😄 #NewYearNewMeNotSoMuch

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

    Commentary:
    “Like a fine wine, annoyance takes time to mature 🍷🕰️. So sit back, relax, and let me annoy you slowly but surely 😉🤪 #AnnoyanceGoals”

  • Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the secrets our furry friends would spill if they could speak! 🐱🐶 Maybe it’s best to keep their world domination plans under wraps. Thank goodness for their loyalty and silence… for now. 🔐😂”

  • If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

    Commentary:
    “Watch out for those meme-criminals! 🕵️‍♂️💻 Arresting people for jokes? Sounds like a job for the Pun Police! 🚨👮‍♂️ Remember, humor is not a crime… unless it’s dad jokes. Then maybe it should be 🤣 #FreeTheMemes”

  • I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone is celebrating “Me-mas” instead of Christmas this year 😂📦🎄 Who needs to shop for others when you can treat yourself, right? Enjoy those packages, you deserve it!🎁🎁🎁

  • The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

    Commentary:
    Well, that prime minister sure has a mathematically sound job title! 🤓🧮 Looks like they’re really in a league of their own, not to be split up or divided by any ministerial factions! 🤣🎩 #MinisterialMath #UniqueMinister

  • According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

    Commentary:
    🚨🍳 When the smoke alarm acts as your personal chef and declares dinner is served! “According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready” – because who needs timers when you have a culinary connoisseur like that, right? Just make sure it’s not too *smokin’* hot! 🔥😂