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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡¦ has shared:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself β€œwhat would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has shared:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Going viral on Reddit:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Going viral on TikTok:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Going viral on Messenger:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Live now on Snapchat:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Humorous quote highlighting the chaos of kids and adults discussing taboo topics.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the dilemma of choosing between innocent chatter or the unpredictable chaos! It's like deciding between sticky lollipops and sour lemons πŸ­πŸ‹ – pick your poison wisely, folks! Let's hope we can all agree that both topics are best left unsweetened 😜!"

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any room can be a rage room if you just give me a minute.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

85 shares on X this month:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

73 shares on Slack this month:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, β€œI can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has copied:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡» has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has copied:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has viewed:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has copied:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Making waves on Messenger:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Just shared via Messenger:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Spotted on YouTube:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Trending via WhatsApp:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, β€œBit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

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