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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2069 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,231

Funny Quotes Topics

14,975

Funny Quotes Images

12,231

5 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Going viral on Telegram:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Just shared via Twitch:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Breaking via WeChat:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Going viral on Facebook:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Going viral on WeChat:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Breaking via Instagram:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

6 months ago

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

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Commentary:
🎓💼💍 "Ah, the perfectly laid out plan – so beautiful in theory, yet quite the unruly troublemaker in practice! Life really knows how to keep us on our toes, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️ Who knew that choosing a career and finding 'the one' could be such wild adventures! Buckle up, friend, because the unexpected twists make it all the more exciting! 🌪️"

25, age, anything, confusion, expectations, finish, i, job, life, marriage, married, plan, school, simple, understand

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2069 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,231

Funny Quotes Topics

14,975

Funny Quotes Images

12,231

5 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Making waves on Threads:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Just shared via TikTok:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Making waves on WeChat:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Seen just now on Slack:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I run a parody bank account.

Just landed via YouTube:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Just shared via X:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

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