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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,534

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Just shared via Facebook:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Just shared via Threads:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Spotted on Messenger:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Seen just now on X:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Shared recently on X:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Just landed via Telegram:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Seen just now on Slack:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

6 days ago

Witty quote about life's confusing detours after simple plans, with a humorous, playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎓💼💍 "Ah, the perfectly laid out plan – so beautiful in theory, yet quite the unruly troublemaker in practice! Life really knows how to keep us on our toes, doesn't it? 🤷‍♂️ Who knew that choosing a career and finding 'the one' could be such wild adventures! Buckle up, friend, because the unexpected twists make it all the more exciting! 🌪️"

25, age, anything, confusion, expectations, finish, i, job, life, marriage, married, plan, school, simple, understand

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

59 shares on X this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

60 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

77 shares on X this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

33 shares on X this month:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

65 shares on X this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Live now on Threads:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Spotted on Twitch:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Just landed via Slack:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Spotted on Threads:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Going viral on Slack:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Going viral on Reddit:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Just landed via X:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

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