Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
When you're confidently nodding along, but secretly googling for answers like 🤷🏻‍♂️… "Yeah, you should totally do that! I mean, what could go wrong? 🤣"

advice, clue, humor, say, should, uncertainty, urge

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

0

2 months ago

around, Craigslist, dark, dark humor, everyone, humor, internet, joke, marketplace, murder, online, online marketplace, over, safety, still
80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

0

4 months ago

80s, 80s movie, back, decade, future, humor, movie, nostalgia, past, time, time travel, today, travel
Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, biology, bit, body, chemistry, chemistry lab, emotion, feel, feeling, human, lab, little, me, meat, nervous, pretty, reason, simply
90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

0

2 months ago

90, cravings, eat, food, humor, hunger, i, start, thoughts
My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

0

2 months ago

beer, bruised, cold, cold beer, drinking, ego, going, humor, ice, relaxation, self-care
Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

0

2 months ago

completion, ever, fine, humor, list, priorities, productivity, sex, single, thing, to-do, to-do list

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

The future is buffering.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

51 shares on X this month:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Trending via Messenger:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Just landed via WeChat:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Breaking via Twitch:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Going bananas on Reddit:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Live now on Instagram:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Going viral on Discord:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Live now on X:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨