Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Trending via Reddit:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Just landed via Threads:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Just landed via Threads:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Just shared via Discord:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Good thing too, because I'm already guilty of pineapple love in the first degree! 🍍🍕😄"

controversy, culinary, culinary controversy, debate, food, food debate, fun, humor, laws, pineapple, pizza, pizza topping, quirky, topping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, i, need, new, new year, perfect, resolution, self-esteem, year
Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

0

2 months ago

commitment, fix, humor, lady, man, need, procrastination, relationship, reminder
Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

0

2 months ago

day, debt-free, dog, hours, humor, laziness, least, nobody, pet, sigh, sleeping, unemployed
The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

0

2 months ago

cost, cost of living, economy, faster, financial, financial stress, grown, growth, housing, living, money, overtime, pay, rent, stress, thing, work
I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

0

2 months ago

before, cell, cell mate, dating, ever, humor, irony, loneliness, love, mate, prison, relationship, soulmate
Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Slack this month:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

31 shares on Slack this month:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

14 shares on X this month:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

The future is buffering.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Spotted on Twitch:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Just shared via Threads:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Making waves on Reddit:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Making waves on YouTube:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Trending via Messenger:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨