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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

Trending via Pinterest:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Just shared via Telegram:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

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There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.
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Commentary:
"Greedy people are like black holes—no matter how much you throw in, it's never enough! 🌌😂 #GreedyGalaxies"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I had a wife, I’d text her things like, ‘What’s your full name?’ and ‘When’s your birthday?’

25 shares on YouTube this month:

The shitshow must go on.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Spotted on Reddit:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Live now on X:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Just shared via Instagram:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Live now on YouTube:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Trending via Messenger:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Just landed via Twitch:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Just shared via Facebook:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Salary week, but salary weak.

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