Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Trending via X:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Seen just now on Slack:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Trending via Reddit:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Making waves on Threads:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Just landed via Instagram:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

3 weeks ago

Witty text about social awkwardness, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you need a polite escape route from awkward conversations but don't want to resort to running away like a startled deer in the woods 🦌😅 Or you could always go with the classic "Wow, that's so crazy, let's talk about literally anything else!" 🤷‍♂️💬

acceptance, awkwardness, communication, conversation, different, humor, response, say, should, social, social acceptance, something, sure, uncertainty

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

95 shares on Instagram this month:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Going viral on Threads:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Shared recently on Threads:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Just landed via YouTube:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every day, a new coworker asks if you’ve used ChatGPT, and the conversation doesn’t end if you say “No.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Trending via Threads:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Making waves on Twitch:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

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