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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Just landed via X:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

Breaking via Instagram:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Going viral on Messenger:

Is anyone else really scared for how stupid and illiterate the next generations are gonna be?

Going viral on YouTube:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on YouTube:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

9 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about a hilarious, unexpected way to stay refreshed with cucumber Gatorade.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When cucumbers become hydration MVPs! 🥒🏆

cucumber, drink, Gatorade, got, hydration, me, quenched, unprecedented

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22 shares on WeChat this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

24 shares on Threads this month:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Breaking via Messenger:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Making waves on Facebook:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Going viral on Facebook:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

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Activity Log ✨

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨