Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.
  • I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.
  • There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.
  • To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.
  • If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.
  • All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.