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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Just shared via TikTok:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Trending via Snapchat:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Making waves on Facebook:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Going viral on Instagram:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Just shared via YouTube:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, I always say, sometimes a meeting is like a reluctant jumper on a hot day – it just needs a little push! 🤣💼 Just kidding, of course. Let's keep it professional, but maybe spice things up a bit with some creative ideas instead! 🌟🚀

frustration, humor, meeting, push, sarcasm, stairs, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

19 shares on X this month:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

17 shares on X this month:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowers, take me with you!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Spotted on Snapchat:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Shared recently on Discord:

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

Making waves on Messenger:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Spotted on X:

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Just shared via Messenger:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Live now on Threads:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

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