Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Going viral on X:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Just shared via Slack:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Just shared via Pinterest:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Spotted on WeChat:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Live now on Telegram:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Breaking via X:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous quote about workplace change with a playful, witty tone.

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Commentary:
Guess they found the cheat code to upgrade from "meh" to "LOL" mode! 😂🎮👩‍💼升级成功！

boredom, boring, change, humor, longer, management, simulation, workplace

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

66 shares on Discord this month:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Trending via WeChat:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Spotted on Snapchat:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Seen just now on X:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Trending via Reddit:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Trending via WeChat:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Spotted on Slack:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Just landed via Twitch:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This simulation is no longer boring, since they replaced management.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨