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Commentary:
"Who needs a crystal ball 🔮 when you've got such confident dating advice? Live in the moment and pucker up, folks! 💋 Carpe diem(or rather, carpe kiss'em)! 😘💫"

enjoy, fun, kiss, live, need, promise, spontaneity, today, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

0

2 months ago

art, artist, concept, courtroom, courtroom drama, doodler, drama, humor, little, me, murder, sketch, sketch artist
The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

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2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, comparison, cup, energy, humor, me, motivation, Popeye, second, spinach
I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

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2 months ago

humor, memory, money, organization, purse, receipt, shopping, year
Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

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2 months ago

activity, downloading, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, music, right, soundtrack, syncing, technology, Titanic
There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

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4 weeks ago

bathroom, bed, being, comfort, comfy, frustration, hate, i, inconvenience, night, nothing, pee, sleep
If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

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2 months ago

concern, humor, i, ID, me, meeting, personality, reflection, self, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

66 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

76 shares on X this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

40 shares on Threads this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Going bananas on Discord:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Just shared via WeChat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Trending via TikTok:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Just landed via Snapchat:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨