Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

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Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

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If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

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Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

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I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

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Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

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Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

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“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

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Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

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When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

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That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.