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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Just landed via X:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Freshly posted on X:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Going viral on Threads:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Spotted on Twitch:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Breaking via Twitch:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

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Commentary:
"Shopping carts may be the only real place where 'treat yourself' becomes a full-contact sport! 🛒👠😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

My life is based on a true story.

80 shares on Slack this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

82 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

Going viral on Threads:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Spotted on Facebook:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Just shared via Threads:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

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