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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,250

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Trending via Discord:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

2 months ago

0

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a magic eight ball when you've got a gurgling gut predicting the future? 🤔💭🔮 Just remember, sometimes it's not just your gut talking, it might be suggesting you grab a snack instead! 🍕😂 #GutFeelingOrHungerPang"

gurgling, gut, humor, meeting, noises, quiet, thing, trust, weird, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

0

2 months ago

2, advice, clumsiness, guide, head, hit, humor, joke, mind, reaction, say, someone, wait, warning
Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

0

2 months ago

boredom, brain, diet, difference, fat, food, getting, humor, hunger, learn, self-awareness, weight
I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, else, email, emails, end, feel, free, humor, i, need, please, politeness, reach, sarcasm, stopped, writing
My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

0

2 months ago

age, due, financial, humor, lack, life, life struggles, longer, love, me, money, relationship, sad, sadness, struggles, suffer
Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

0

2 months ago

bored, boredom, dating, flirting, humor, interaction, situation, situations, social, social interaction, unwanted, unwanted situation
Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

0

4 months ago

anyone, anything, debt, dollars, except, humor, me, money, payment, psychology, session, therapist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Reddit this month:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

11 shares on X this month:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

39 shares on Twitch this month:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

36 shares on Discord this month:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Just landed via Snapchat:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Spotted on X:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Seen just now on Twitch:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

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