Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.
  • That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.
  • Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.
  • I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.
  • Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.
  • My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.