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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, theyโ€™re really saying that theyโ€™d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

Some of us better hope Santa doesnโ€™t check social media, because if he does, all weโ€™re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Slack:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and Iโ€™ll be able to afford a television.

Going viral on Telegram:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Just shared via Threads:

Ok, new plan, Iโ€™m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Breaking via YouTube:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Just landed via Messenger:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Spotted on Discord:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Spotted on Slack:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Just shared via YouTube:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like we've found the eco-friendly solution to saving our oceans! Who knew turtles could have a plastic makeover? ๐Ÿข๐ŸŒŠ Let's just hope they don't mistake a plastic straw for a snack! ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿฅค #RecycleAndRoll"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

You know the trouble with real life? Thereโ€™s no danger music.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Iโ€™m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. Iโ€™m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Twitch:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Just landed via Messenger:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? Iโ€™m not even going anywhere.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everyoneโ€™s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just shared via YouTube:

Itโ€™s getting very expensive to be alive.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

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