Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.
  • Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.
  • Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.
  • Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.
  • Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.
  • I am single, please disturb me!