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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Just landed via Reddit:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Trending via X:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Going viral on Facebook:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Making waves on YouTube:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

2 months ago

0

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, those 18th-century bros and their revolutionary ideas! 🧐💬 "Dude, let's totally drop some truths on paper and stir up some trouble!" 🖋️📜 It was the original version of starting a viral tweet storm! 😂 #ThrowbackRevolutionaries

1700s, anachronism, bro, conversation, friendship, having, history, humor, pamphlet, should, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

0

2 months ago

activity, adults, Amazon, driver, fun, fun activity, gift, gift giving, giving, holidays, humor, lap, list, mall, should, sit, tell, want, wish, wish list
Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

0

2 months ago

activity, booling, everyone, high, high school, nobody, nostalgia, school, slang, social, social activity
Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

0

2 months ago

bottom, coffee, food, free, free sandwich, give, hit, hitting, hitting bottom, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, rock, rock bottom, sandwich, should, struggles
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

3 weeks ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

0

1 month ago

beautiful, beautiful woman, confidence, ew, expression, humor, most, power, powerful, reaction, say, sometimes, thing, woman
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

0

2 months ago

9, around, estimate, going, home, humor, i, job, jobs, money, night, plan, quit, relationship, run, tonight, travel, well, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,355

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Live now on LinkedIn:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Live now on YouTube:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Just landed via WeChat:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Making waves on Instagram:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Breaking via Discord:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Just shared via YouTube:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

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