Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.
  • I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.
  • The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.
  • “How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.
  • “Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.
  • Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.