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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Live now on Twitch:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Just landed via Slack:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

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Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, so vaping is like the ultimate cockblocker for onlookers, huh? 😂🚭 Nothing like a cloud of vapor to spice up the atmosphere, or kill the mood, depending on who you ask! 💨🚫 So, watch out vapers, you might inadvertently be saving yourself from unwanted advances! 😅 #VapeAndChill

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

23 shares on Discord this month:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

65 shares on Threads this month:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,796

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Just shared via Threads:

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Freshly posted on X:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Trending via Slack:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Seen just now on X:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sick of living through history!

Going viral on X:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Spotted on Threads:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Just landed via X:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

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