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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

45 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Live now on WeChat:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Making waves on Twitch:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Trending via Slack:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Breaking via Threads:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Spotted on Threads:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Jan 21, 2025

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, mom coming in hot with that spicy comeback! 🔥 Definitely sounds like payback is serving up a heaping plate of attitude, much to your dismay! 😂 Looks like karma really does have a way of circling back in unexpected ways, even through baby names! #MomKnowsBest 👩‍👧‍👵

attitude, complaining, daughter, family, humor, i, me, mom, parenting, payback

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

45 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Just shared via WeChat:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Just shared via Reddit:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Live now on YouTube:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Trending via Slack:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

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