Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.
  • Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.
  • Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?
  • I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  • My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.