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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

52 minutes ago

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Yeah, baby, I am an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Going viral on WeChat:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Just landed via YouTube:

It sucks when a woman realizes that her knight in shining armor was actually just a moron wrapped in tinfoil.

Just landed via Slack:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Live now on Telegram:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Jan 22, 2025

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

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Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of the never-ending dinner debate turning into a breakfast battle! 🍳🥓 It's like a culinary soap opera with a side of toast drama. 🍽️😄 Who knew choosing a restaurant could rival the intensity of a high-stakes negotiation? Just remember, in the game of food choices, there can only be one winner… or you could always just order pizza! 🍕🎉 #BreakfastDebateRealness

argue, argument, breakfast, choice, decision, dinner, food, meal, relationship, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

52 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Just shared via Threads:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Just shared via Discord:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Seen just now on Threads:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

Trending via Threads:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Trending via WeChat:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Making waves on Reddit:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

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