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Commentary:
"Well, if we can't figure out a way to sip wine while reclining, at least we can still reach for the stars… just not with a glass in hand 🍷🌙 #FirstWorldProblems"

drink, good, humor, irony, lying, lying down, man, moon, problem, put, relaxation, space, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

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2 months ago

apple, expectations, fall, family, genetics, humor, kids, parenting, screwed, tree
Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

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2 months ago

advice, fashion, home, hoodie, humor, shit, strings, together, uneven
I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

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2 months ago

comedy, exception, face, forget, humor, i, insult, joke, wit
If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

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5 months ago

anything, being, better, bowie, david, David Bowie, inspiration, little, memorable, music, personality, taught, uniqueness, us, weird
Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

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2 months ago

animals, government, humor, moment, pets, sarcasm, talk, tax
They should name a personality disorder after me.

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2 months ago

after, disorder, me, name, personality, should

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

79 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just shared via X:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Going viral on Twitch:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨