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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Shared recently on X:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Going viral on Discord:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Live now on Snapchat:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Going viral on YouTube:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po just got laid off 😂👔 #CorporateNoFun

blame, i, nickname, rule, Teletubby, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

3 months ago
90s, always, house, humor, interaction, memory, nostalgia, social, social interaction, stranger, strangers
There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

1 month ago
breakup, day, free, freedom, girl, girls, healing, humor, just, process, recovery, relationship, wake
I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

4 weeks ago
around, bee, bees, butterfly, buzz, compliment, flattery, flower, humor, i, me, nature, playful, sorry, sweet, thought
Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

2 months ago
anything, data, data sale, data tracking, email, email spam, internet, internet security, know, middle, middle name, name, online, online signup, privacy, pro, pro-tip, put, sale, security, sign, signup, sold, spam, tip, tracking, website, website name, websites
Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

1 month ago
accident, accidentally, humor, important, life, responsibility, ruining, stress, work
So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

1 month ago
adventure, always, before, boldly, boldly go, exploration, gone, humor, irony, sci-fi, someone, space, star, Star Trek, trek, where

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Going viral on YouTube:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Spotted on Threads:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Just shared via WeChat:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

The older I get, no.

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

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We can’t use nicknames at work anymore, and I blame Teletubby.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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