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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,516

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Seen just now on X:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Trending via Telegram:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Just shared via Slack:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Live now on YouTube:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Trending via WeChat:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Going viral on Twitch:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

2 months ago

0

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ambitious space program goals of politicians never fail to reach for the stars…or should I say, the moon? 🌕🚀 Just imagine the moon becoming the next hotspot for vacation destinations – don't forget to pack your space suit! 👨‍🚀 #MoonMania2020"

1969, ambition, election, every, exploration, humor, i, man, me, moon, president, promise, put, satire, space, space exploration, stop

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

0

2 months ago

food, humor, kindest, kindest vegetable, kindness, potato, sweet, sweet potato, vegetable
I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

0

2 months ago

age, childhood, childhood memory, dollars, financial, financial perspective, five, i, innocence, lot, memory, miss, money, nostalgia, perspective, thought, whatever, youth
Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

0

2 months ago

comedy, dark, dark comedy, enough, foodie, hannibal, Hannibal Lecter, humor, killer, lecter, scary, serial, serial killer
Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, bedtime routine, bedtime struggle, difficulty, early, easy, going, problem, problems, routine, set, sleep, sleep difficulty, sleep problem, struggle, whole
Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, crossing, dating, fingers, four, Four Horseman, fun, horseman, humor, irony, joke, single
Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

0

2 months ago

basketball, call, February, hip, hip-hop, hop, loudspeaker, moment, phone, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, watermelon, wrapped

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Instagram this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

95 shares on Messenger this month:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

75% of being a divorce lawyer is just answering emails from clients saying, “No. No. No. You absolutely cannot do that, no.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Social media is mental suicide.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Trending via Telegram:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Shared recently on Threads:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just landed via TikTok:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Going bananas on Discord:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Just shared via X:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

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