What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

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Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

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My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

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If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

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I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

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I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

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The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

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Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.