Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Seatbelt? Check. Prayers? Double check. 🙏 Hold on tight, folks – we're in for a wild ride with the sisterly speedster at the wheel! 🚗💨 #SurvivorModeActivated"

am, driver, driving, family, humor, i, passenger, princess, sister, survivor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

0

2 days ago

awkward, awkward moments, brag, bragging, forget, forgetfulness, hand, handshake, humor, i, interaction, memory, moments, name, shake, social, social interaction
Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

0

2 months ago

before, crazy, day, even, good, good day, humor, morning, opening, try, web
Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

0

2 months ago

attitude, determination, different, frustration, humor, i, light, mind, mindset, mood, negative, negativity, perspective, rude, sarcasm, somebody, something, stand, upset
Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

0

2 months ago

budget, confuse, dating, finance, humor, men, money, month, never, only, operational, recruitment, relationship
No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, doing, employment, gap, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, moment, question, resume, tell
We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

0

2 months ago

20, access, age, ago, anyone, digital, digital age, experience, hard, humor, internet, internet user, new, old, old internet, online, online access, sarcasm, should, stupid, technology, too, usability, used, user, user experience

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Discord this month:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

39 shares on YouTube this month:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

28 shares on Threads this month:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is “Please forget.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Going viral on X:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Spotted on Slack:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Going viral on Messenger:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Spotted on YouTube:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Live now on Messenger:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Going viral on TikTok:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Just landed via Slack:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Not to brag, but I can shake your hand and forget your name simultaneously.

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨