Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Spotted on Telegram:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Spotted on TikTok:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Making waves on Telegram:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When love hits you harder than a 90s boy band 😂💘🔫

amore, brain, gun, humor, pun, suicide, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

0

2 months ago

disco, fun, humor, life, music, panic, party, stress
The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

0

2 months ago

bullshit, grass, greener, humor, life, only, perspective, reality, side
Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

0

2 months ago

church, eat, food, humor, joke, less, preachy, religion, satire, should
Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

0

2 months ago

actresses, bud, clean, cotton, cotton bud, ear, envy, face, humor, i, porn
If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

0

2 months ago

actually, creature, humor, joke, mythical, mythical creature, pun, realize, supernatural, transformation, unawarewolf, werewolf
Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

0

2 months ago

automotive, car, car nap, driving, hit, humor, multitasking, nap, relaxation, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

62 shares on X this month:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

69 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

95 shares on Twitch this month:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Trending via Instagram:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Seen just now on Slack:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨