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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Making waves on Threads:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Just landed via Slack:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Seen just now on Messenger:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

2 months ago

0

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a ticket to the zoo when you have a front-row seat to the wild antics of your colleagues in the office jungle! 🐒🦁 Save money, stay entertained, and perhaps even learn a thing or two about the fascinating species that is 'the co-worker.' 🤣 #OfficeSafari"

colleagues, entertainment, free, free entertainment, funny observation, humor, i, money, observation, spend, watch, workplace, workplace humor, zoo

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

0

2 months ago

brag, continents, humor, i, irony, joke, media, popularity, posts, self-deprecating, social, social media, unpopular
I hope this email makes you quit your job.

0

5 months ago

email, hope, humor, i, job, message, quit, quitting, work
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

0

2 months ago

afford, bill, color, different, expense, finance, humor, i, irony, pay, same, sarcasm, well
Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

0

2 months ago

awesome, confidence, humor, i, individuality, judge, me, perfect, self-acceptance
That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

0

3 months ago

conversation, conversations, distraction, focus, got, half, head, loud, mind, missed, moment, music, relatable, restart, song, too
I wish anxiety came with french fries.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, came, comfort, comfort food, craving, food, french, french fry, fry, humor, i, irony, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on TikTok this month:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

47 shares on X this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

28 shares on Threads this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Trending via Twitch:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Seen just now on Discord:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Trending via Instagram:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

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