Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

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That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

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I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

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Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

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Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

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I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

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I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

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Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

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Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”