Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Look at you, turning handshakes into a mysterious guessing game 🤔👖 Let the speculation begin: Was it a secret slime operation or simply a mid-meal snack? The world may never know! 🕵️‍♂️🍔 #SneakyHandshakeMoves"

awkward, awkward moment, before, behavior, day, funny behavior, hand, hands, handshake, humor, i, just, moment, pants, prank, rest, shaking, social, spend, touch, wipe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

0

4 months ago

5, body, body image, fatter, future, here, humor, i, image, joke, myself, self, weight, where
Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

0

1 month ago

enjoy, fun, kiss, live, need, promise, spontaneity, today, tomorrow
My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

0

1 month ago

children, degree, family, frequent, frequent visits, healthcare, humor, kids, medical, medical degree, nurse, parenting, visits
Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

0

1 month ago

avoidance, comedy, disinterest, ever, humor, math, me, moved, please, reluctance, speak, wordplay
Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

0

2 months ago

contact, day, device, every, house, humor, i, Interpol, irony, location, login, me, much, new, oh, phone, sarcasm, say, single, thank, warning
Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

0

1 month ago

bed, bedtime, early, found, i, just, matter, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

96 shares on Threads this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Seen just now on X:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Seen just now on X:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Going viral on X:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Just landed via TikTok:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Just landed via X:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Trending via Discord:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨